Wednesday, December 4, 2013

More disappointment.

In continuation of there being no good in the world, I still don't have a llama love sweater.

Someone commented on a previous post I did about my situation (which means that someone other than my mom and Ashley has been reading, so that's fantastic). Apparently, life is all sparkles and rainbows over in her world since SHE FOUND A LLAMA LOVE SWEATER AT A J. CREW AND MADEWELL SAMPLE SALE yesterday in New York City. 

I can't speak further about it at the moment. She seems really nice, though, so at least the sweater is going to a good home.
My home is good too, Madewell. MY HOME IS GOOD, TOO.

PS. If you do a Google search under the 'shopping' category for "Llama Love sweater," this is what you get

It's December 4th, which means it's almost January 5th, which means Downton Abbey is almost back on.

Monday, December 2, 2013

While you were away

For 18 days, Alan will be here

(Yep, that's his photo. Ass.)

while I'm here

I had grand plans. I was going to write; I was going to read; I was going to watch Pride & Prejudice and Mean Girls on repeat.

Instead I've been eating cereal for dinner while watching the Esquire Channel and Modern Family re-runs.

I'll get the hang of this soon. In fact, I believe I'm missing a Modern Family episode right now. I've improved at least 200% I'd say.

On a similar note, it seems that I missed the memo the first few nights that Alan was away

Good thing I finally received that memo

*True. I have no idea how this happened.

Before Alan left, he was kind enough to leave me with a cough.


Anyway, I couldn't fall asleep Sunday night because I had to cough approximately every 10-13 seconds. Finally I decided to try drinking some hot water (?). It mini-worked and I was able to fall asleep until the middle of the night when I had to go to the bathroom. Then it took forever to fall back asleep because Winston & Walter were on crack.

I missed my alarm and woke up about 25 minutes before I had to leave for work. I took a 30 second shower, got dressed, and tried to make my lunch but spilled frozen corn all over my kitchen floor. I don't even know how that happened since I didn't touch the frozen corn. Mostly I laughed because what else can you do when there's frozen corn all over your floor, and then I left it there hoping cats love corn. Turns out, they don't. What made me a little miserable about the corn is that I cut each of those kernels BY HAND off ears of corn I got from my CSA.

After I got my lunch under control, I grabbed an english muffin to make at work for breakfast but dropped it in Winston & Walter's food bowl.

So anyway, that was my morning.

All of this, on top of *WALKING DEAD SPOILER ALERT* Hershel dying... I just can't take these last 24 hours. It's like there can be no good in the world.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

For Emma, forever ago.

To the Huang’s—the hungriest family I know.

Three years ago, Julie and I went to visit Aunt Mary, Uncle Chris, Edythe, Seth, and Emma in Southern California. Of all the fantastic and favorite memories I have of this trip—including, but not limited to, tandem biking for the first and last time ever— there is one that makes me smile the biggest: Julie’s and my date with Uncle Chris for dinner*.

I feel, looking back, that I was woefully unprepared for a dinner date with my Uncle. Had I been better prepared (or just prepared in general) for this day, I could have trained;

I could have prepared;


 I could have prepped myself mentally.



But, I did none of those things. I was simply ready for dinner*.

Before I start this story, allow me to provide you with a brief background.
I come from Loeffler stock. Born and bred to eat.


 Ne’er a plate un-filled; ne’er a stomach un-full. That’s our motto.


Also, I hail from Buffalo, NY: home to the second biggest eaters in this country.


Our dinner date was set a day in advance. The date was day-long and would start with Julie and me joining Uncle Chris and a business partner for a lunch meeting, would include a visit to Huntington Beach for some R&R, and would cap with dinner, and possibly dessert!, at a restaurant of Uncle Chris’ choosing (a favorite restaurant of his, I believe?).  Excellent, I’ve eaten lunch and dinner thousands of times. No sweat.

It was a nice lunch. Julie and I had a decent sized meal. Nothing to write home about, but also not a side salad. I left feeling comfortable, and I left feeling ready for some immediate R&R.

(note: there is nothing immediate about getting anywhere in LA. Or Boston. But definitely not in LA).

We were on our way to spend a few hours in Huntington Beach before dinner: a little rest, a little walk on the beach, a little sticking our feet in the Pacific. And a little snack.
Immediately after leaving lunch, and on the way to Huntington Beach, Uncle Chris wanted to stop at KFC for a chicken sandwich. Julie and I were confused, but thought.. hmm, Uncle Chris must have been so busy discussing business at lunch that he didn't eat much. Poor guy.

Turns out he ate his lunch. He just wanted us all to have a snack on our way to the beach.
So, KFC it was. And three chicken sandwiches it was. Right after lunch.... Right after lunch.

But we ate, because who doesn't eat when the cutest Uncle in the world offers you a chicken sandwich right after lunch.
It was a beautiful day, and perfect weather for a slow, slow walk down the beach. Uncle Chris took a nap while Julie and I were out, and I'm pretty sure it's because he ate lunch. And then ate lunch again. Eating can be exhausting.

Eventually it was time to leave Huntington Beach for dinner. We stopped at a nature conservatory for a short walk and some quick site seeing first which was nice.
Then we were on the road. At a snail's pace.

And no sooner were we on the road than was Uncle Chris asking if we were hungry.

So, Dominos it was. And a whole pizza it was. Because who doesn't need a pizza in the car on the way to dinner? "Just in case we get hungry" (on the way to dinner) was Uncle Chris' reasoning for the pizza. Pizza almost never needs a reason. Almost never.
But we ate, because who doesn't help eat a whole pizza when the cutest Uncle in the world puts a pizza in the car.
Finally we made it to dinner. Some perspective: lunch was at noon, and we were at dinner by 7pm. In case you need a recap: we ate a full lunch, a chicken sandwich, and split a whole pizza within seven hours. If that doesn't seem like a lot of food to you, then you're probably from Buffalo. Or Mississippi. Possibly Alabama.
Julie and I rolled into dinner. Straight from the car, onto the parking lot, and into the front door.

I was ready to keep it light.
Uncle Chris had other ideas. Many plates worth of other ideas. And who doesn't eat many plates when the cutest Uncle in the world has ideas.
I don't even remember what we ate, but what I do remember is that Julie got the stink eye from the server when she asked for a fork (we were in a nice Chinese restaurant).
Listen lady, you don't know the kind of day we've had. That's what I wanted to tell the server, only I was too full and so I did nothing but smirk and put more food into my mouth with chopsticks.
Julie and I could see the light. Dinner was over.

Oh wait. Dessert.

Never. NEVER. Have I been more regretful of my food choices than at the moment when dessert came out and I started eating. Again.


Finally. It was time to go back home.


I'm pretty sure I was black out from Dominos on. If not from Dominos, definitely from the parking lot on. Sorry I just ended two sentences with prepositions. I'm sure bedtime was more of a comatime. I don't remember but I'm sure it was.

What's amazing to me is that this is, unbeknownst to me at the time, standard practice in the Huang Household. (Yet each remains perfectly beautiful and fit. I wish Nancy Drew were around for this mystery.)

When Alan visits my family, he thinks he eats big (ne'er a plate un-filled!) and in excess (ne'er a stomach un-full!), but it really is miniature golf compared to the Food Olympics as sponsored by the Huang Family.

I wish everyone could know Uncle Chris. He really has as big a heart as he has an appetite. 


Friday, July 5, 2013

Enjoy my no photos.

So a couple of things:

1. Edythe was here yesterday for the Fourth of July. We went to Rockport, drooled over everything in every shop we entered, impulse bought some things, looked at the pretty views of Coastal Massachusetts and then had lobster. Then ice cream. Then we went to tea where we had many things to eat.

I took some photos, but I can't figure out how to get them from my phone to my computer and so now you will see nothing.

Then we went to Jess' apartment to watch fireworks from her roof. I took no pictures and therefore you will see nothing... again.

2. I cut my toe somehow when I was out with Julie and so I haven't been able to run for a couple of weeks. It's not that I was running before I cut my toe, but at least I feel better about not doing anything remotely athletic except for bicep curls.

I don't know why I ever think about running as a good form of exercise, anyway. I really just don't care for it.

I almost always have better things to do. Like hull the 17lbs of strawberries I got from Stillman's farm, or shell peas, or fluff my cat's face, or pretend like I'll ever get through Don Quixote, or Clorox wipe everything. I'm just so busy doing these things, so there's just no time. Plus, the heat and humidity are just so oppressive these days.

 3. I am one of about six people at work today because no one normal actually works the day after the Fourth of July. The day is not flying by.

3a. I always hated when a teacher would respond to any question that started "Can I..." with "I don't know, can you?"

When Edythe and I were walking around Rockport, I heard someone say, "Can you take a picture of [someone] and I?" and I said out loud (but not that loud), "it's 'me', but whatever."

I just wish people knew the difference, that's all.

4. Girl Code is my new favorite show.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


Seems my pants and I were on the same page this morning

as opposed to other mornings.

When I woke up, I thought, "Today is the day I wear white pants. Today is the day." Then I instantly had two feelings: one of joy and one of dread.

Joy because these are my favorite pair of white pants (as well as my only pair of white pants), and dread because I hadn't worn these particular pants since last summer and also I ate a box of ice cream sandwiches (-1 because I remembered that sharing is caring so I shared with Alan) on Saturday. Plus I ate half a carton of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Still on Saturday. Truth.


So anyway, I was a little worried about how my ice cream escapades would factor into today's white pants wearing. I'm happy to report that they fit and all was right with the world.

It's all about the small wins, folks.

In other news about clothes, here's a list of facts for you about the ever oppressive bra.
And, a bonus little something because I love llamas so much and because I can't stop watching:
Don't you just die every time?