Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Doughnuts and cats.

There's nothing really interesting for me to write about but I made Ryan Gosling a promise yesterday that I would blog everyday, so that's what I'm doing for at least today and tomorrow.

1. I went to the gym yesterday which felt nice. I have a cold that I refuse to take medicine for so I think the sweat from my (very) mild run on the treadmill (...whatever) helped to clean my body out a little bit. I feel a lot better today and am not sneezing every 5-6 minutes (sorry co-workers in close proximity).

When I walked into the locker room after my workout, I noticed a sign that I hadn't noticed before:



2. I found out some bad news yesterday. My mom might not be able to watch the Walking Dead on Sunday. This means I have zero people to text every time something amazing/gross/disgusting/stupid/idiotic/gross/really gross/terrible/disgusting happens. Also, Alan's also going to be in France for a week and a half, so now I don't even have anyone to WATCH it with.

I cannot.

3. A confession but hardly a surprise: I keep taking pictures of my cats.

They literally have a photo shoot once a day. I can't stop and it's becoming pathetic. Not as pathetic as this cat photo shoot, but close.

That's all.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Friday night.

Methinks my first Zumba class will always be awkward.

I started Zumba again Friday night after a brief hiatus. I'm really glad I chose the day after Thanksgiving to start again because being the only person other than the instructor in the studio ensures that there is no obstruction from seeing your whole body in the wall to wall mirror.

The instructor promised me, three times, that there are normally more people in the class. Guess people were just tired from a day of trampling moms with kids and being trampled by moms with kids.

Anyway. I stayed. Partially because I ate three pieces of apple crisp the night before and partially because I felt bad leaving.

So a couple of things.

1. Not much has changed about my physique or my expressions while in motion.

2. I have no business ever being in a Bollywood movie, a salsa club, or the Gangnam Style music video.

3. "White girls can't dance" is a fact (although I do dance a mean ChaCha).

4. My dancing skills are amongst the lowest in the East Coast.

         4a. I almost said 'in the country' and then I remembered that these moves exist:

Anyway, after Zumba was over I came home and watched Crazy, Stupid, Love with Alan (hope he's not reading this or he might kill me/ break up with me). He was definitely hating on the movie at first. Then he came around and started laughing at everything Ryan Gosling's character was saying/ doing. Turns out, Alan thinks Ryan's a real man's man.

That's okay. Oh, Ryan Gosling. I love you with your side part even if your hair's not red. Wait... wait. What's that, Ryan? What did you say?

I will blog every day.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Glen Coco

I've submitted a formal recommendation to Alan to rename Walter to Glen Coco.

He will get four treats a day and Winston will get none.

You go, Glen Coco.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012


Whoa. I don't even know how to handle the four posts I've made in the last week and a half. Seems like I'm on a roll. Hope it lasts; bet it won't. I just don't have that many cool things other than cats and cat toys happening in my life to warrant constant posting, and if I make one more post about Walter & Winston, I think Ashley will de-friend me.

So anyway.


A lot of things have happened to my body over the last week (not the least of which includes the effects of not running but continuing to eat like I'm hibernating in three weeks anyway).

I tried acupuncture. It was cool; I'll do it again. Then I got my teeth whitened. I hated it and I'll never do it again.

First of all, I look pretty amused up there. Please consider, however, that that apparatus/ torture piece was only in my mouth for all of four minutes when the picture was taken. Please then consider the fact that I had to spend 45 hours like that. Literally each minute took one full hour.

Also. This is what I had to stare at for all that time because I got "the only room without a TV ('so sorry' love, the dentist)":

I don't even know what that means. 

The real bummer here besides the bogus amounts of drool (... listen, I titled this blog 'TMI' for a reason) was the fact that my teeth only got one shade whiter than they previously were.

I think the whole dental system is frauded. I just made up the word frauded because I can't think of a better word and my lunch break is almost up.

Anyway. I walked out with slightly whiter teeth, an at home kit to "enhance and continue the whitening effects"- aka do it myself- and this:

They must be as appalled as I am over the unnecessary amounts of Kit Kats and Peanut M&Ms (and 14 Oreos at 3am*) that I've been eating recently.

*I went for tapas with my girlfriend Michelle the other night. First, let me say that when you make a reservation on Opentable.com, they will absolutely read any comments you leave on the reservation. Case in point... they congratulated me on my engagement to Michelle immediately upon entering. We live in Massachusetts, so they probably get that sort of thing all the time. Obviously, I said "thank you" and pretended like it was real.

Anyway. We partook in several dishes, copious amounts of wine and martinis, then headed off to a bar and afterwards to Michelle's where I ate 14 Oreos and a(nother) KitKat bar.

(I promise my eyeshadow looked WAY better than that in real life. Just ask the rando' with whom I kept talking to about it.)

The next day I had a date with Alan at the Bleacher Bar in Fenway to watch the Bills/ Patriots game.

Who only drinks water at a bar? This girl.

It was a pretty good game, and it came down to the very last pass (which I think stopped Alan's heart for three solid seconds). Bills couldn't clinch it though (I don't even know what that means) and the Patriots won.

And that was that.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Ugh, cats...

Alan came to bed the other night, a million hours after I went to bed, and told me "there's cat nip in the sink, but we can get it tomorrow."

First of all, I thought it was morning. Turns out it wasn't. Second of all, I thought "there's cat nip in the sink" meant the bag of catnip was literally in the sink. Turns out, that's not what he meant.


and whatever this thing is...

 After this I got tired of taking pictures.

Ugh. Good thing I have a new vacuum that I use four times a day at a minimum. It's also a good thing they're so cute all potted up.

Mostly Walter because he always looks so dumb. Love that mug.

Hey there, Queens. You just hang out while I clean up everything.

The good news is, it's time for pomegranates again.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Wined and dined.

I wined-n-dined myself last night after learning that I was locked out of my apartment. I decided on a tapas bar/book store around the corner from me that I've been oggling for two months now.

Wait... Great wine, great tapas AND books?? New AND USED books? And wine? And food?.... And wine?

or, for my fellow cat ladies...

You may be asking yourself, "Was this her favorite place ever?" The answer is yes. Oh yes.
I decided, between glass one and two, that I would write a letter (on my nice stationary that I HAD TO HAVE because I was going to write SO MANY LETTERS to everyone/anyone/my mom) to the owner thanking him for creating such a cozy and marvelous place, but it didn't happen because I got side tracked when I came home. More on that in a minute.

Now you may be asking yourself, "Well, did she buy herself anything from the book store?" The answer is yes. Oh yes. It was the best date ever. Sorry, Alan.

Anyway. Why did I get side tracked when I got home??

The box was on my front steps just DYING for me to open it. And so I did.

Now... I'm aware that the following statement is absolutely perpetuating gender stereotypes, but:


Sorry, Lucretia and Elizabeth.

I used it as soon as I got home and all was right with the world. It's times like these when I realize how similar I am to my mother.

* I know this isn't my mom because it's not 11 o'clock at night on a every school night.
** Yes. This lady is vacuuming a tree.

Love you, Mom.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

An overview of events.

An overview:

1. I ran my second half marathon two weekends ago. It was pretty bad, and I was mostly miserable. Guess I'm not as awesome of a runner as previously thought, and should have continued training after my first half marathon. Whoops. Anyway, I didn't walk and I made pretty good time (actually the exact same time I ran my first one in??) so that was good, but I wanted to cry about everything from mile two. That's right. 11.1 miles of drama and over-reacting. My mom thinks it was because my bib number was 666. She's probably right.

What helped was how beautiful the course was (aren't most things on the Cape?). I picked out approximately 27 homes that I will own one day. And, I decided, as soon as I have enough money to pay for all 27 homes, I'm going to also pay someone to run my half marathons for me.

       1a) On the way down to Falmouth the night before the race, Carolyn and I witnessed a high-speed chase. That was cool.

2. I ran an obstacle 5k with Ashley on Saturday. The night before we had a healthy pre-race meal of Five Guys burgers and DQ. Life was good.

3. I have to get my fillings re-filled, so that's awesome.

4. I watched The Walking Dead episode 4. I have NEVER in my life, EVER, been so anxious about something on TV. Ever. Not ever. And I know that I'm not alone because my mom was texting me all night about it and Julie was texting me about it, and I had an eleven minute conversation with my mom about it the next day and I'm still thinking/ being dramatic about it.

5. Obama won the election and this letter happened. What I need to know is a) who is this kid; b) is he in college already; and c) is this the coolest twelve year old alive (yes).

 6. I was shopping in Madewell the other day and thought "maybe I'll ask about the llama love sweater (again)." Wish I didn't because I was told that they'll likely never sell the sweater again, "and that I might be interested in the sheep sweater instead". NO, lady-from-Madewell. As I already told Claudia, I'm not into Sheep. I think I hate Madewell.

7. Ashley got me a Llama Love necklace from Madewell for my birthday because she's a good friend (and because she's probably sick of me blubbering about Llama Love sweaters every second). I wear it almost every day.

      7a) Someone I work with asked if it was a cow. I was so offended.

8. I went to Cirque du Soleil. This happened:

So did this.

And so did this guy:

Best clown/ mime, ever. I was crying from laughing so hard.

9. A series of pictures like this happened:

Check out those mugs, especially Alan's. He's so dynamic.

 10. And my cats made a fort inside my ottoman.

Alan and I have re-named them "Rulers of the Ottoman Empire."  Their other names include "Piddles and Paddles" (as coined by my lovely sister Sarah), "Dumpster Buddies," and "Queens*." I think these cats love us so much.

*This nickname is reserved only when they're doing this:

and licking each other.