Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Reasons to (and to not)...

I've decided that for this post, I would compile a short list of reasons to, and to not, eat/try/do/wear certain things. The compiled and ever-incomplete list is as follows:

REASONS TO AND TO NOT.   A list by Katie Loeffler

1. Reasons to put more rainbow sprinkles on your ice cream than previously and/or ever considered necessary: aesthetics (who chooses plain white over color???); a small joy and rekindling of your childhood after a day of doing things that adults have to do-- e.g. slaving working, laundry, cooking, dishes, flossing, taking vitamins, taking out the trash, and watching the nightly news; and, most importantly, you'll never suffer through a plain lick of ice cream again (who doesn't love a nice soft serve layered with sprinkles, covered in sprinkles and re-dipped in sprinkles after every lick????).

(I'm not sure what these kids are dipping in sprinkles, but I'd like to hang out at their house.)

Reasons to not layer your ice cream with sprinkles, cover your ice cream with sprinkles, then re-dip your ice cream with sprinkles after every lick: a potential (and perhaps unhealthy) obsession with rainbow sprinkles, cavities (specifically three cavities), possible diabetes, and your pants not fitting quite the way they used to.

I'll just buy bigger pants, thank you very much. (I ran out of sprinkles making all the layers, or it likely would have had more.)

(Apparently the possibilities of sprinkles are endless...)

2. Reasons to write in cursive when you normally don't: you get lots of practice writing cursive; your brain thinks in a way it normally doesn't, thus making you smarter (is this a stretch??); eventually hopefully you are able to write in really beautiful script like your grandma probably does, but no one your own age does; and, maybe one day, if you become good at writing in cursive, the people your grandma's age won't think your degenerate generation has completely lost an appreciation for all things tasteful and proper, and the people your own age will be impressed. Reasons to not: you'll spend unnecessary amounts of time trying to figure out what's actually written on your paper because your notes, it seems, were taken by a third grader...


Sigh, if only my cursive would look like this, all the kids my age would be jealous:

3. Reasons to not try any DIY Pinterest project...ever: your doilie Hodge Podge tea light holder WILL catch on fire. There are currently no reasons to try any DIY Pinterest project (I do, however, encourage you to keep pinning as if your nails will turn out like all posts say they will...)

Pinned Image

Oh, really? I can do this myself???

4. Reasons to wear Crocs (this endorsement does not include the ugly original gardening kind): your knees will thank you after a long walk; they're way more comfortable than heels on the way to/ from work; they can be kind of cute (I said can, not are); and they're water proof, thus lending themselves well to walking through (not around) rain puddles. Reasons to not:
no one will ever compliment you on your shoes. Ever.


(not even Instagram can make them look cool....)

So there it is, folks: reasons to (and not to) eat/try/do/wear certain things. Maybe every (other) Tuesday I'll post something to this effect. Until then, I hope you think back to this post the next time you're challenged with making a decision and say... "hmm, what are the reasons to, and to not, do this..." Makes things a lot easier sometimes.    -kl



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