Dear Sir or Ma'am

Dear Sir or Ma'am, but most likely Sir, with the obnoxiously loud motorcycle who passes my house at 5:50 every morning:

Shut up. My alarm doesn't go off until 6:02.

With little to no love,

Katie (and I'm assuming Alan)

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Dear Ma'am with the fuchsia wrap dress going up to the 8th floor:

I can see your black lace thong and matching bra right through your dress. So can the middle-aged creeper that's also in this elevator.

With love,

Concerned citizen getting off at the 5th floor

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Dear Sir who looks like Ryan Gossling that I just saw in Post Office Square,

Hi.

Since I'm so awkward, that's all.

With my eternal and undying love for your resemblance to my boyfriend-who-doesn't-know-that-he's-my-boyfriend-yet,

Katie